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Why, oh why, can't we have Christmas in July?
If we love to celebrate, does it matter what the day is?
If its cold, if its hot, doesn't matter, why not?
This year, we're gonna have a Christmas in July
There's a magical place called the Southern Hemisphere
Its winter down there while its summer up here
Since Christmas without winter just wouldn't be right
Sometimes we put another Christmas, right here in July!
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I'm spending Christmas in Paris with my family this year
And if I said I was excited, I'd be lying
I really wish I that I could make my family disappear
I'm sick of Buzz and I'm sick of all the fighting
Did anyone order me a plain cheese?
Somebody's gonna have to barf it all up
I don't wanna share the room with Fuller - he'll wet the bed!
They call me flam-wad and little jerk and les incompetent
I really wish I could make my family disappear
When I grow up and I get married, I'm living alone!
I really wish I could make my family disappear
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Supper time on Christmas Eve
Every year we have the same old thing
Dinner rolls and candied yams
The family gathers 'round, hand in hand
Bring out the main course, what could it be?
That lovely gagging smell..ah! Roast beast!
Roast beast is a feast I can't stand in the least
Its dry and I cry cause its covered with fleas
I'd pay loads of cash for a dash of Who-hash
Cause roast beast is a feast that belongs in the trash!
You can either eat that goddamn roast beast, or you can go to bed.
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Christmas, spending it at the beach
Laying in a hammock under a palm tree
And right when I thought that I could unwind
A frickin' sandball hit me in between the eyes
Sandball, sandball, sandball fight!
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Tonight I saw a little boy, standing in the line
Had a pair of women's shoes covered with some slime
He looked to me and I couldn't help but look away
So I thought I would write a song to kill the mood on Christmas day
When the cashier rang the shoes up it was clear he couldn't pay
I told the kid not to give up, to ask for lay-a-way
He looked to me and I wasn't sure what I should say
Cashier's are such a bitch when they kill the mood on Christmas day
The shoes he said were for his mom and she was nearly dead
But I thought shoes weren't permitted in a hospital bed
I told him this and he didn't quite know what to say
Logic had just crushed his dreams and killed the mood on Christmas day
By this time this boy was really starting to piss me off
I told him I would buy the shoes if he would just get lost
Now I'm out like, 40 bucks and don't know what to say
I'll go home and write a song to kill the mood on Christmas day
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Christmas time! Christmas time!
Christmas! Also, Hanukkah!
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When you wake on Christmas morn'
You'll see me out your window pouring
Hazardous crap down your sewage drain
Your neighbors will all stare and scorn
Like some Yuletide Redneck porn
They don't approve but they can't seem to look away, oh no
I just wanted you to know
I just want to let you know
Merry Christmas, the shitter's full!
And it may seem illogical
But everyone deserves a place to go in peace today
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Girlfriend came to visit me
Had dinner by the Christmas tree
Forecast said "let it snow"
So we turned the lights down low
She started taking off her top
And I said, "Baby, please just stop!"
Cause making love is just so much better
When you wear your Christmas sweater
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The holidays are over and everyone is sober
Frosty is melting and Santa's parked his sleigh
The lights are coming down all across tinsel town
Your relatives have packed their bags and are headed on their way
If I could have one Christmas wish, I'd wish that Christmas could stay
So give me one more Christmas cheer, make it loud for all to hear
Christmas please don't go away!
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It was Christmas Eve (again!) and The Benefit took to the basement to bring joy to all the good girls and boys. Suddenly, they were transported back in time to a warm, sun shined filled time - JULY! Bummed that their Christmas trees had become palmed trees, The Benefit called up their pals The Chinese Fire Kites, and decided that a little sun and sand couldn't stop Christmas from coming. This fresh batch of songs became their second holiday album, Christmas in July! So whether you're at the North Pole or the Florida Keys, give a listen to the sequel album to the Christmas album you grew to love last winter.
